Each week, spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users' questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.
Q: I have been on the journey to rediscover myself: how I really feel, how I see the world, how to better deal with the world and how to love and be loved. Like an alcoholic, I fall off the wagon plenty. And, like an alcoholic, one day I'll look back and realize just how far I have gone. My questions:
I am not a computer expert, but there's a term known as a screen dump. In this case, you have dumped all the inner conflicts that most people store up in a lifetime. But that doesn't mean an answer is impossible.
You are a dependent person. You dream of being rescued. You enjoy the fantasy of "what might have been" or "what will be one day." Time passes without action or initiative. You fill this time by asking anybody and everybody what to do. Instead of growing up, you have turned from a child who depends on others to an adult who depends on others.
Having seen this about yourself, you can stop being the woman who never makes up her mind. Your indecision is born of timidity, and your timidity is rooted in not growing up. Focus on that. If Mr. Right came along, you'd simply become dependent on him, and since no outside person can make you whole, after a while both of you would be dissatisfied. Instead of focusing on the fantasy of being rescued, start the process of maturing. The time has come.
How do I continue to grow when I feel like I've lost touch with who I am?
Every week, Deepak will be answering questions from readers just like you—ask your question now!
Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
Published on February 24, 2010