Each week, spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users' questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.
Q: I was listening to you talk with the rabbi about the male-female balance and the importance of that in the world and in relationships. I happen to have a gay adult child and wondered how that concept fits in with that orientation?
— Cynthia H., Fairhope, Alabama
Homosexuality has been part of human nature for as long as recorded history, but social pressures and religious superstition have stigmatized it. As a result, there are few, if any, traditional scriptures that help a modern gay person to grow spiritually. To fill the gap, a host of books have sprung up talking about faith and God in terms that allow gay people to feel spiritually worthy. I'd urge you to read such a book in order to settle your own doubts, for every parent of a gay child has them.
As to the balance of male and female, both aspects exist inside ourselves. A straight person doesn't reach balance simply by finding someone of the opposite sex. The work happens inside, and if it's successful, a balance is reached outside as well, since outer and inner reflect each other. In the straight world, there are common, but mistaken, assumptions that gay couples mimic the roles of husband and wife, one playing at being feminine, the other masculine.
Such a rigid division is actually far from the norm. The challenge in any relationship is how to find completeness while relating to another person. This is true in all relationships that are mature, loving and serious about personal growth. Some straight relationships fail the test; some gay ones pass it. Nobody gets a free ride just by falling in love with someone of the opposite gender.