— Heather P., Noblesville, Indiana
If I may say so, you've seized on a very abstract idea in order to be insecure. I'd be willing to bet that your motive isn't to find an answer. If you got a telegram from God saying, "I contain all things. From me the whole creation takes on infinite qualities," would you suddenly feel secure? I'm afraid not.
The issue here isn't where people get their individuality, but how you feel about yours. Something about who you are is deeply bothering you. Since your letter doesn't give clues to the source of this insecurity, I can only say that it may be hiding somewhere. Most people look in the mirror and know what they dislike about themselves (I don't mean just physically). At your age, 31, the list of flaws is usually long.
This kind of self-consciousness doesn't mean you are inferior. It means that you are becoming mature and seeing yourself in realistic terms. Having seen that you aren't perfect, you can leave adolescence behind and come to terms with reality. This isn't a curse or a burden. It's not something to avoid. Indeed, finally facing reality is the great adventure of life. Beyond maturity lies many horizons and paths that lead to the heart of many mysteries. I encourage you to explore them.
How do I gain control of my life when it doesn't feel like it's mine?
Every week, Deepak will be answering questions from readers just like you—ask your question now!
Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.