Without realizing it, I interpreted what I saw and fell into a core money belief which was that it was impossible to have money and be kind, be loving, care about anyone but oneself. So when I started making money, I was in an unconscious bind. To like myself, to maintain a semblance of self-worth, I couldn't have what I had; I couldn't have money. But since I didn't know this, since I hadn't named or questioned it, the belief led to a series of actions and nonactions: I refused to think about the money I made. I kept pushing it out of sight and into my Madoff account; I abdicated any responsibility or accountability for making and having money.
But I was also acting on another core and seemingly conflicting money belief: that there wasn't—and would never be—enough. Enough love, enough money, enough rest, enough food. The frenzied hunger for more was part of the air I breathed as a child, and I did a valiant job of carrying on the pattern as an adult.
It has always been true that you act according to your beliefs and, since the way you act has consequences, your beliefs manifest in the world through various situations. When you act out your beliefs, you see the results of your actions everywhere.
Geneen Roth has appeared on many national television shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Her work has appeared in numerous publications, including O, The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune and a regular contributor for Good Housekeeping. She's the author of nine books, including The New York Times best-seller Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations About Food and Money.
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