I have been married for eight years. I was involved in an unhealthy relationship prior to my marriage. The blessing that came from that experience was a realization of self. I knew what I wanted, and I set my need for a spiritual lifestyle to my intended husband. He assured me that we were on the same path. I discovered we weren't. I tried living his way, and it has not
fulfilled me. Now that I am endeavoring to be true to myself, it is causing friction between us. I feel as though we are on two opposite ends of the spectrum of life. His way feels like a hindrance to my own. How do I find a common ground and overcome the resentment? — Rachael H., Belmont, Trinidad and Tobago
What you don't say in your letter is whether you have children. If you do, then of course the importance of your doing everything possible to make your marriage work is even greater.
What you also don't say is exactly what it means that you "tried living his way." Marriage can be a magnificent lesson in becoming our best selves; that is true. But a woman should never do anything—even for her husband—that violates her ethics. If "living his way" involves living a life that transgresses against your most cherished values, then you might have come to the end of your earthly assignment with your husband.
Place all of this in the hands of God, asking prayerfully what he would have you see and what he would have you do. Then know that whatever his guidance is, he will guide you toward fulfilling it. Know that even this issue with your husband is part of your spiritual journey. Seek to forgive; seek to take responsibility for you own errors. And then stay or leave, depending on the guidance you hear from the sense of the holy in your heart.
Every week, Marianne will be answering questions from readers just like you—ask your questions now!Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed author and lecturer who has published several books, including New York Times best-sellers
A Return to Love and
Everyday Grace. A popular guest on numerous television programs such as
The Oprah Winfrey Show and
ABC's Good Morning America, Marianne has lectured professionally since 1983. For more information, visit her official website.Read More from Marianne Williamson:A new way to view marriageHow to handle a broken relationshipListen to MiracleThought podcasts with Marianne Williamson