4 Steps to Forgiveness - Dr. Ned Hallowell

Dr. Ned Hallowell shows you how to move past the pain with anyone in your life.

Original Content | September 09, 2009

Reliving and Reflecting

Once you've had the chance to vent, you are ready to appeal to your rational side, Dr. Hallowell says.

Ask yourself: What do you want this pain to turn into?
Look for the hook. The hook is what is holding you back—it's the portion of the misdeed that is causing you to hold on to your anger and resentment.
Empathize with the person who hurt you.
Remember that forgiveness is not the service of condoning. It's a service to yourself—free yourself from the poison of hatred.

Next: The difficult step of working it out