Reliving and Reflecting
Once you've had the chance to vent, you are ready to appeal to your rational side, Dr. Hallowell says.
Next: The difficult step of working it out
- Ask yourself: What do you want this pain to turn into?
- Look for the hook. The hook is what is holding you back—it's the portion of the misdeed that is causing you to hold on to your anger and resentment.
- Empathize with the person who hurt you.
- Remember that forgiveness is not the service of condoning. It's a service to yourself—free yourself from the poison of hatred.