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Sync Your Sex Drives


2. Avoid name-calling.

He is not a "sex fiend" just because he wants more, and she is not a "nymphomaniac" if she wants more or "frigid" when she wants less. If you are in a committed relationship, and you want it to work, you both have to recognize that it is perfectly normal for sex drives to differ. The important thing is for you both to enjoy the sex you have together—however and whenever you do.




SOURCES: Lonnie Barbach, PhD, psychologist and sex therapist, University of California, San Francisco; author, For Yourself, For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy. Richard Driscoll, PhD, marriage therapist, Knoxville, Tenn.; author, Intimate Masquerades: A Survival Guide for Those Who Know Too Much. Patricia Koch, PhD, associate professor, biobehavioral health and women's studies, Pennsylvania State University; adjunct professor, human sexuality, Widener University. Edward Laumann, professor of sociology, University of Chicago; author, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. Laumann, E. Archives of Sexual Behavior, April 2006; vol. 34: p. 145–161. Esther Perel, couples and family therapist, New York City; author, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. Eva Ritvo, MD, vice chairman, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science, Miller School of Medicine, University of Miami, Florida.; chairman, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center, Florida; author, The Concise Guide to Marital and Family Therapy. Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology, University of Washington; past president, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. Tom Smith, author, American Sexual Behavior: Trends, Socio-Demographic Differences, and Risk Behavior, National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago. WebMD Features: "When Men Aren't in 'The Mood'" and "Why Women Lose Interest in Sex."

Reviewed on February 14, 2007

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