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Men, Women and Sex


Here are a few things researchers do know about how men and women's sex drives compare. Bear in mind, individuals vary from these norms. That's what makes life—and sex—so interesting.

It is common for couples to experience a discrepancy in sex drives.

"The biggest problem I encounter in sex and marital counseling is an imbalance in sexual interest—one partner wants more, one wants less," says Richard Driscoll, PhD, a marriage therapist in Knoxville, Tennessee, for 34 years and author of Intimate Masquerades: A Survival Guide for Those Who Know Too Much. "The average American married five years has sex once or twice a week. That's your average. It's not a problem if you vary from that average—you only have a problem when you cannot agree," Driscoll says.

Many couples cannot agree. Driscoll says half of all marriages experience some discrepancy in desire at some point, and it's usually men who have a higher sex drive. About one in five women report that their husbands have turned them down for sex, Driscoll says, while half of all men say their wives have turned them down.



As a reminder, always consult your doctor for medical advice and treatment before starting any program.

SOURCES: Lonnie Barbach, PhD, psychologist and sex therapist, University of California, San Francisco; author, For Yourself, For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy. Richard Driscoll, PhD, marriage therapist, Knoxville, Tenn.; author, Intimate Masquerades: A Survival Guide for Those Who Know Too Much. Patricia Koch, PhD, associate professor, biobehavioral health and women's studies, Pennsylvania State University; adjunct professor, human sexuality, Widener University. Edward Laumann, professor of sociology, University of Chicago; author, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States. Laumann, E. Archives of Sexual Behavior, April 2006; vol. 34: p. 145–161. Esther Perel, couples and family therapist, New York City; author, Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. Eva Ritvo, MD, vice chairman, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science, Miller School of Medicine, University of Miami, Florida.; chairman, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center, Florida; author, The Concise Guide to Marital and Family Therapy. Pepper Schwartz, PhD, professor of sociology, University of Washington; past president, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. Tom Smith, author, American Sexual Behavior: Trends, Socio-Demographic Differences, and Risk Behavior, National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago. WebMD Features: "When Men Aren't in 'The Mood'" and "Why Women Lose Interest in Sex."

Reviewed on February 14, 2007

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