July 26, 2000

The Journey Within

As Donald McCloskey, he earned an international reputation as a professor and economist. He was 30 years a husband and a father. Then at age 53, he left the life he had always known to find his true self — he became Deirdre McCloskey.

Donald had a desire from the beginning of adolescence to be a girl. He started cross-dressing at age eleven and continued through all his years of marriage. He did many of the things that boys are supposed to do, such as being co-captain of his high school football team. But being a man felt like being a project director. He had jobs to do and thought that action was more important than being. At age 53 he realized that he could become a woman —- and from then on there was not a moment of doubt. Now Deirdre says, "I feel that who I am is who I am." She can now be herself and has also been very fortunate in that she is able to be the same person professionally as she was before.

"I'm a gender-crosser... I'm a woman," Deirdre explains. "Gender crossing is not about having sex - there isn't anything sexual about it. It's who I am. It's my identity."

This spiritual journey has been a homecoming for Deirdre — a movement from external to internal — the finding out about who she truly is inside.

"I don't think my gender change hurts anyone. It helps me. To call someone a freak or weird, is the first hateful step along an awful road. I don't ask for any special treatment. I ask for the treatment you would expect from others."

Deirdre has now gained a spiritual fulfillment that was never filled by degrees or prestige. Her story can be found in her book Crossing — A Memoir.

"It's an odd ecstasy...every day, every moment that I live I feel happy."