The new rules of the "sandwich generation" can mean making decisions for your aging parents and meeting new demands on your time.

If you're caring for an elderly parent—or parents—and your own children at the same time, you're probably overwhelmed, overworked, overscheduled and exhausted. You're also part of a growing cultural phenomenon known as the "sandwich generation."

As today's parents have children later in life, it often means that their child-rearing and other family responsibilities collide head-on with the growing needs of aging parents.

According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), 44 percent of Americans between the ages of 45 and 55 are "sandwiched" between aging parents or in-laws and their own children under the age of 21. Most of them have both elder care responsibilities and children still living at home.

If you're part of the sandwich generation, how do you cope? The good news: It can be done. In fact, the AARP survey finds that 87 percent of sandwich generation adults are either "very satisfied" or "somewhat satisfied" with their lives. Few—just 4 percent—regard their "sandwich" families as a burden, and two out of three believe they've done better at caring for their parents than their parents would have expected.

The bad news: Almost half still worry that they should be doing more.

But whether you're solidly in the middle of the "sandwich" trying to cope or looking down the road at decisions that loom ahead, there are steps you can take now to avoid being torn between competing demands. The first step, experts say, is to be researching, asking questions and laying the groundwork for what's to come.