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Dr. Berman:
Baby, yeah.

Oprah:
Babies and all of that. Is a lot easier to say than "vagina."

Dr. Berman:
Right.

Oprah:
Is that because—

Dr. Berman:
Or "vulva."

Oprah:
Oh, "vulva." You're going there.

Dr. Berman:
I'm going there. Every time with you.

Oprah:
Every time. Woo. Okay.

Dr. Berman:
Yeah. It is, you know, and it's—it's not—I remember when I first started talking about this on television it was back, gosh, in '97, '98, and I think it was—I was doing the nightly news and they said to me, "We don't want you to say the word 'clitoris.'"

Oprah:
Yes.

Dr. Berman:
And I said, "Could I say 'penis'?" And they said, "Yes, you can say 'penis.'" But I couldn't say "clitoris." Now, I don't know, maybe I could say "clitoris" on the nightly news. But 10 past years ago, I couldn't.

Oprah:
I don't know if you could. I don't know if you could.

Dr. Berman:
I'm saying it here.

Oprah:
I thought that was big, that was really big. Because actually one of the executives at ABC had called me about the—the vibrators that we were doing on TV, and I said, "Well, you—you're talking about the vibrators. You missed the clitoris demonstration that we did." He said, "What has happened to you, Oprah?"

Dr. Berman:
With the clitoral pointer.

Oprah:
The clitoral pointer.

Dr. Berman:
Yeah.

Oprah:
Okay. So we're going to be explicit this evening. Number 3, let's continue down the list. Let go of all those negative—

Dr. Berman:
Right. And we put this on your website.

Oprah:
—sexual messages you've been holding.

Dr. Berman:
We put up some great affirmations. Because one of the things—

Oprah:
Which is easier said than done.

Dr. Berman:
Absolutely. Because we grow up—we grow up with these messages that are overtly given to us verbally by our parents, but even more subtly through example and through having our hand slapped away when we were exploring or being taught that sex was dirty or that nice girls don't or that they won't by the cow if they can get the milk for free.

Oprah:
That's why some women are 50 years old and older—

Dr. Berman:
Right.

Oprah:
—and still calling it "down there."

Dr. Berman:
Right.

Oprah:
Yes.

Dr. Berman:
And have never looked at themselves, and it's because they're still—we unless you—the first step is to stop and recognize what those messages are, where they came from, and decide whether you're ready to let them go or not. Because usually once you—you say, "Oh, yeah, that's my mom speaking. You know, here I am a 50-year-old woman. Is that what I believe?"

Oprah:
Yeah.

Dr. Berman: "
No, that's not what I believe."

Oprah:
Yeah, women live and die and have never seen their vulva.

Dr. Berman:
Good girl. Vulva.  

Oprah:
Vulva. Number 4, go to the doctor. Problems in the bedroom could be a medical issue.

Dr. Berman:
Yes.

Oprah:
Particularly, you know, we just did the bioidentical show yesterday.

Dr. Berman:
I know.

Oprah:
Which we're going to re-air this Thursday because so many people didn't see it. It was preempted because of the plane rescue. But so many women when they get older have a dryness in the vagina and—

Dr. Berman:
Yes.

Oprah:
—their—and sex is painful.

Dr. Berman:
Right.

Oprah:
And so they're just—

Dr. Berman:
Sex is painful. Their libido goes down. So they have the dryness, they have lack of genital sensation. They have low libido. All of that can be related to hormones.

Oprah:
Yes.

Dr. Berman:
Especially if you're in your mid-40s and beyond. Also anything—things in your medicine cabinet that wouldn't even occur to you. Antihistamines, antidepressants, hormonal contraceptives can all negatively affect your sexual response and your desires.

Oprah:
Wow.

Dr. Berman:
So we have all of this information online on Oprah.com.

Oprah:
Right.

Dr. Berman:
And—and you definitely want to not rule out—there's always medical factors, emotional factors and relationship factors happening simultaneously when there is a sexual issue.

Oprah:
All right.

Dr. Berman:
So you don't want to rule out the medical.

Oprah:
But what was interesting is the show this we did, one of the first shows that we did with the woman who didn't know she had a clitoris, once she discovered that she—when I saw her, actually—

Dr. Berman:
Yeah.

Oprah:
—I knew immediately watching her that it was a hormonal issue.

Dr. Berman:
Yeah. Yeah.

Oprah:
Yeah.

Dr. Berman:
And that wasn't why she couldn't find her clitoris. That was a separate issue.

Oprah:
That was a separate issue.

Dr. Berman:
But she had low libido because she had low testosterone. And when you have low testosterone, that's a hormone of desire so you typically will have low desire, low energy, low general sense of well-being and low genital sensation.

Oprah:
Wow. So, yeah, and I want to say to all the women out there, particularly if you're over 35 and your hormones are, you know, fluctuating, that that—you have to take charge of that for yourself.

Dr. Berman:
Absolutely. And you know what I would add one—I would take you a step further and say if you today are maybe in your 20s or late 20s and happy with what—how your body's working and feeling and how your sexual response is, I recommend you get your hormone levels tested today because what we're learning is that each woman's hormones are as unique as her fingerprint.

Oprah:
Oh, that's powerful.

Dr. Berman:
So if you—if you know what your template is, what your range is for when you're functioning and feeling good, then when things start to change, you know sort of where you're supposed to be.

Oprah:
That is so profound because I was saying that yesterday with Robin McGraw that my generation and her generation, because we're about the same age, a year apart, are going to be the pioneers because the next generation—the generation before us, it's just going to be normal that you're going to feel great—

 

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