Dr. Laura Berman Webcast Transcript

 

Dr. Berman: And good luck getting back out there.

Oprah: Good luck getting back out there, yeah.

Joy: Thank you.

Oprah: Yeah. Rusty, Sarah and Valerie are joining us from Indianapolis. Valerie, your question is?

Valerie: Hi, Dr. Berman. My question is, how do I get my husband interested in trying new things without seeming really pushy?

Oprah: Try a Brazilian.

Dr. Berman: Very good. That's a good—that's a good idea.

Oprah: Come home with his initials in your vulva and that will change things.

Dr. Berman: Yes.

Valerie: Maybe I can try a heart.

Dr. Berman: That is—that's a good idea. Also, you know, try—start off small. Dean, do you have the lubricants?

Dean: Yes.

Dr. Berman: You can start off—there's some great fun playful lubricants out there now. Dean's going to bring us some to show you or—so you don't necessarily have to bring out like a whole bag of sex toys necessarily at first. But, like, for instance K-Y in your drugstore makes some great products. This is a two-in-one warming massage oil so you—it can be used as a lubricant and a massage oil, and it kind of heats up so you can give him a massage and then use it as a lubricant as well. And then this is called Yours & Mine, a product they have. So one is for him and one is for yours—you.

Oprah: By K-Y.

Dr. Berman: Yeah, by K-Y, by the K-Y brand and they—and when they—and they sort of create kind of tingling warm sensations, and when they come together during intercourse or during sexual play—

Oprah: Where do you put them?

Dr. Berman: You put them on your genitals.

Oprah: Oh.

Dr. Berman: Yeah, these—this is lubricants just for your genitals. This is a two-in-one massage oil.

Oprah: That goes over your whole body?

Dr. Berman: That can go over your whole body and can be used as a lubricant as well. A lot of massages oils you wouldn't necessarily want to use a lubricant and a lot of lubricants you wouldn't necessarily want to use as a massage oil. So the cool thing about this product is that it's not only warming, kind of creates that tingling sensation, but you can use two-in-one. Use it for both.

Oprah: All right.

Dr. Berman: And then—so that's a good way to start. These are just Liquibeads. This is great for women who have dryness. We were talking about dryness earlier. This you put inside your vagina, and it keeps you lubricated for up to four days so you don't have to keep reapplying it. So this is a nonhormonal option that K-Y also makes.

Oprah: Mm-hmm.  

Dr. Berman: Another thing you might do is surprise him, and I find that guys are always interested in this. This is one product that I have in my line called Astraya, but these are wireless remote control vibrating panties so you wear the panties, they have a little vibrating bullet inside the crotch of the panties and then you go, "Honey, I have a present for you," and you give him the wireless remote control and then you tell him what it does and whenever he activates, turns on the control, it's going to stimulate you up to 12 feet away. So you can go to—

Oprah: So you're out to dinner with friends.

Dr. Berman: Yeah, or at a boring cocktail party.

Oprah: A boring cocktail party, yeah.

Dr. Berman: So it's a way to kind of get playful and give him the control and have some fun in kind of nonthreatening ways. And then if you're more adventurous and wanting to spice things up, you can use my Mistress Kit, which has some furry purple handcuffs and a little purple feather duster and a blindfold, so you can sort of take turns tying each other up, give each other massages or tickle each other or kiss each other or play with different food stuffs and have fun. But I wouldn't introduce this first if he's a little bit wary. I would introduce the other stuff.

Oprah: Has anything interested you here?

Valerie: I definitely have to get those panties.

Oprah: Yeah. I don't understand the whole tying up thing.

Dr. Berman: Yeah, well for women especially there's this idea of surrender, especially for women who are so in control all the time and they love the—especially in the relationship.

Oprah: Maybe that's why I don't understand the whole tying up thing. Why would I want to be tied up?

Dr. Berman: Because you would give up the control. You surrender.

Oprah: Okay.

Dr. Berman: Your power. And there's something very liberating, releasing and exciting about that and you put yourself completely in your partner's hands.

Oprah: Okay. Okay. You're going to try the panties, though, right?

Valerie: Yeah.

Dr. Berman: Try the panties.

Oprah: That's a good gift.

Valerie: I have another question, though.

Oprah: Yeah, go ahead, guys, Rusty, Sarah and Valerie.

Valerie: I have never tried anal sex. I'm terrified of it. And how do I do this? Or how do I at least get comfortable enough to try it?

Dr. Berman: Right. Well, first of all, you're not—you're certainly not required to try it. But it does seem to be something that's on the wish list of a lot of men to try.

Oprah: Why? Why? Why do men—

Dr. Berman: It's taboo. It's fascinating to them. It's exciting. It's, you know, forbidden, it's—

Oprah: Painful.

Dr. Berman: Well, very tight.

Oprah: Okay.

Dr. Berman: For lack of a better word.

Oprah: I'd say—I'd say Kegel yourself.