Dr. Laura Berman Webcast Transcript
Dr. Berman: Yeah, you need a big drawer for that one. That might go in your—a lot of women keep that in their bra or underwear drawer—
Dr. Berman: —for special occasions.
Oprah: Skyping in from Orange County, girlfriends Laura, Brooke, Camille and Patience. Camille, what's your question for Dr. Berman?
All: Hi, Oprah.
Oprah: Hi, guys.
All: Hi, Dr. Berman.
Camille: I was actually really interested in the Aphrodite when I saw that on Friday, and my question was, I'm not afraid to use it and I am also fine with my husband and his skills, no problems there, but I wondered to incorporate that on lazy days or whatever if that will sabotage his abilities in the long run. Because I've heard—I didn't know if it was a myth if you're using a vibrator, which is so strong and powerful, then maybe your husband's, you know, manual skills aren't quite as good or strong enough maybe?
Dr. Berman: It's a great question.
Oprah: That's take good question.
Dr. Berman: Yeah. And the bottom line is no human can compete with a vibrator in terms of the direct intensity and frequency of the stimulation. But—but women's sexual response is also so wrapped up in how they're feeling with the—about the person they're having sex with, how into it they are. So there are so many factors that are going to go into your sexual response that a vibrator can't replace. That being said, you know, if you're only using the vibrator, I always encourage women to kind of keep both skill sets alive. So sometimes you use a vibrator and sometimes you don't. And if you kind of keep both going, then you stay used to both.
Oprah: Because if you only used a vibrator and you became accustomed to—
Dr. Berman: Right. You can still relearn how to have an orgasm a different way, but you get kind of used to that and then it's hard the other way. Harder? Harder. Anybody else have a question there?
Brooke: I have a question, Oprah.
Brooke: I was just wondering—I'm Brooke. I was just wondering what the best position was to achieve a G-spot orgasm?
Dr. Berman: Okay. Well, we talked about the Kegels. That's important. We—so a woman on top is a great way because you can provide more friction that way. Also a male behind. But there's one position called the CAT, the Coital Alignment Technique, but basically it's a variation on the missionary position, the traditional position with the man on top, so if you—yeah, it's in there.
Oprah: It's in there. Okay.
Dr. Berman: It's in Real Sex for Real Women. I don't remember what page. You might have to just look.
Oprah: Oh, my.
Dr. Berman: Basically—basically you—
Dr. Berman: (Laughter.) You didn't know what you were getting yourself into tonight.
Oprah: I—it's in there. It's in there. It's right in there. It's all in here. (Indicating.)
Dr. Berman: But it's a variation on the missionary position where he kind of lifts up and over and rocks back and forth, and that rocking motion really helps with G-spot stimulation because you kind of need that consistent friction there. Does that make sense?
Brooke: Okay. Okay.
Oprah: I was going to look—I was going to see if I could find the CAT.
Dr. Berman: The CAT.
Oprah: But even if we saw it, I wasn't going to show it.
Dr. Berman: I don't know if—
Oprah: The lawyers won't like that. I don't see it here. The CAT. But it's in here.
Dr. Berman: Yeah, it's in there.
Oprah: Just look at the index. Very stimulating. Thank you, ladies. Thank you very much. David from Georgia is on the phone. They look so good sitting all lined up there in the green.
Dr. Berman: Yeah.
Oprah: On the phone. David?
David: Hi, Oprah.
Oprah: Hi, David. How are you doing?
David: Yes. Hi, Dr. Berman. Hey, listen, I love my wife. We have good sex now. But I'd like for it to be a little bit better. She likes it to be hard, fast and furious, but I climax way before she has a chance to achieve orgasm.
David: Are there any kind of ways I can train myself so I have more endurance and staying power?
Oprah: Yeah, Kegels for men.
Dr. Berman: Kegels for men. That's a big part of it. Using to use your muscle control and your breath. So what I recommend is that when you do it on your own through self-stimulation, and if 10 is orgasm, you know, the point of no return, you get yourself to a 7 and then either stop, you know, or squeeze those muscles and use your breath and bring yourself back down to a 4 out of 10. And then get yourself back up to a 7. And then move back to a 4. And do that several times until you really get the hang of it and you really practice it on your own, and then you can start practicing it with your partner as well. And if that doesn't work, there are other techniques. I don't know how graphic you want to get called the squeeze technique and the stop-start technique. The stop-start basically means stopping and starting. The squeeze technique, some men need extra help stopping the stimulation so you can squeeze right below the glands of the penis, so the head of the penis, right below there, and that will tamp down the stimulation a lot as well.
Oprah: Did that help you, David?
David: Well, yes, it does. Also I practice the Kegels on my own.
Dr. Berman: Okay.
David: But I haven't done it for a very long time. How long should I keep doing them before I—
Oprah: I bet it's like any other exercise.
Dr. Berman: Right you've got to keep doing it. Those muscles get weak if you don't. And you want to squeeze those and take really deep breaths to sort of quiet the arousal and hold yourself back a little bit. But you want to do several hundred a day just like the women and on an ongoing basis. And if you don't keep doing them, they will weaken. Especially with age as our testosterone lowers, all of our muscle tone diminishes, including our Kegel muscle tone.
David: Okay. Well, thank you both very much.
Oprah: Thank you, David, from Macon, Georgia. Another group of friends joining us from outside of Austin. Austin, Texas. Hello, Amy, Christi, Casie and Shannon.
Oprah: Hi. Hi, ladies. Your question for Dr. Berman. A lot of women are watching tonight.
Christi: I have two questions. One is I noticed when I administer oral sex to my husband, his joy juice will taste different every time. A sometimes it's sweet and sometimes it's salty and I was just wondering if that is dietary and if there's some way that I can control it. I have a little bit of a sweet tooth.