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While an adult child is living at home, you should give her opportunities to become more responsible and develop the skill set she needs to be able to manage her own life. So does that mean it's okay for you to charge your adult child rent? "There are lots of different ways to contribute to the household," Shaffer says. "Paying rent is only one of them." She suggests activities such as helping out with younger siblings or grandparents, doing the grocery shopping or making dinner as other ways your adult child can be valuable.

Another way you can help your child save money is by having the young adult give money to you to put it away for her. Perhaps you can help her restructure her debts. "The most important thing is that you insist on children taking on responsibilities," Shaffer says.

Instead of picking your child up after she stumbles, try to step back. Gordon explains that when her 20-something children moved back home, she understood that she had to let them make their own mistakes. "We didn't have to save them anymore," she says. "We knew they better learn the consequences because later it would be way worse. Our perspective was that we knew it was another shot at parenting from afar and parenting by doing less rather than doing more. It was an absolute joy."

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