"One night I saw his phone on the counter and I looked at it, and it somehow came right to this picture of him naked and aroused from the waist down. ... I asked him about it. He denied anything. He said he took the picture to send to me, which I know is a big fat lie because I wouldn't approve. And so that was one thing. And then I've also seen e-mails from women from Russia, wanting him to be their lovers."
Katherine says she has tried tracking him with a GPS unit and installing spyware on his computer, but he found both and disabled them. Gary says Katherine should try getting him to submit to a lie detector test. "Obviously we all think here that he's up to no good," Gary says. "The question, Katherine, that you have to face, and this is hard for a woman: Do you want to know?"
Gary says the truth can be very difficult for women to face because it could be the end of their marriage and the beginning of a painful divorce. Gary says the cheater's lying is really the ultimate betrayal. "I say to men, look, do yourself a bigger favor, be honest with your wife when you're just beginning to get interested in somebody else. Sit down with your wife and say, 'Listen. Something is wrong,'" Gary says.
If you suspect your husband is cheating, Gary says there are unobtrusive ways of investigating, such as looking at cell phone records or computer histories, or try using an automobile GPS tracking device if necessary. But first, find out if GPS tracking is legal in your state.