Photo: Yale Center for British Art, Paul Mellon Collection
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The Nothing in Common Moment
You go to a romantic hotel for the weekend. The first morning, you both go to the pool. He sits down on a lounger and reads back issues of magazines. You try to do this too, because you have a vision in your mind of what couples are supposed to do: read together, go on hikes together, listen to records But...it's really hot and, quite frankly, you hate reading magazines. You dive into the pool and swim for 20 minutes. Next, you hit the gym and run two miles (watching him read through the window), and you take along hot steam shower (waving to him on the way to locker room). Then you come back and give him a big fat kiss because you feel amazing! You moved your body and got those endorphins going!
Sure, you maybe wish that he had moved his body too, just for the sake of his cardio. But sitting there reading made him feel just as amazing. He learned something about healthcare or the politics of the Cote d'Ivoire! At this particular wisp in time, you have not one thing in common—and you both know it—but neither of you faked interest in the other's passion, or tried to compel yourself into enjoying what really doesn't appeal. As a result, in your distance you ended up closer.