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Your Friend, the Cheater
Jancee Dunn Polls the Experts
Affair etiquette

Q:
A friend in an unhappy marriage confesses to an affair. Your ex-husband cheated on you. You can't condone the affair, yet you want her to be happy. What's the right response?

A:
"People shouldn't be misled by their friends into believing that an affair is justifiable. You should tell her that it is the wrong solution, ethically and practically, to a bad marriage."
— Jack Marshall, president of ProEthics

"Affairs always hurt somebody. Can you muster the moral courage to speak to her—without scolding—about why you feel this way? The power of a single comment can be enormous."
— Rushworth M. Kidder, founder of the Institute for Global Ethics

"Don't let your experience with infidelity get in the way of a clear-eyed perspective. Encourage your friend to seek counseling—and to practice safe sex."
— Anita L. Allen, professor of law and philosophy at the University of Pennsylvania Law School
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