What to Ask Before Marriage

Parenthood Questions

Although Lies at the Altar is about marriage and intimate relationships, having children is also for grown-ups, and there are all too many "adult" couples bringing children into marriages where the foundation is shaky on a good day. Being a mature adult involves recognizing that much of what you re-create in your marriage and as parents has to do with unresolved issues with your own parents and family. If you are married and don't have children, give them and yourself the gift of building a strong foundation before subjecting them to the chaos of parents who haven't shown up and haven't grown up.

• Do you want children? When? How many? Are you unable to have children?
• Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation?
• How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family?
• Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in (time outs, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc.)?
• Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior?