Photo: Benny Gool
I've been racking my brain for weeks over what I know for sure about love. Let's face it: Love's an intimidating subject that's been done and overdone, trivialized and dramatized to the point of mass delusion about what it is and isn't.
This is what I know for sure: The screenwriters of that movie Love Actually had the right idea, their premise being that love is all around. The chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are. Most of us can't see it because we have our own preconceived ideas about what it is (it's supposed to knock you off your feet and make you swoon) and how it should appear (in a tall, slim, witty, charming package). So if love doesn't show up wrapped in our personal fantasy, we fail to recognize it. I know this for sure: Love is.
I've seen so many women (and been one myself) dazed by the idea of romance, believing they're not complete unless they find someone to make their lives whole. When you think about it, isn't that a crazy notion? You, alone, make a whole person. And if you feel incomplete, you alone must fill yourself with love in all your empty, shattered spaces.
Look around and notice—possibility is everywhere.
If you find it a strain to open your heart full-throttle to the Big L, start in first gear: Use compassion for a while and feel yourself shifting to something deeper. Before you know it, you'll be able to be a blessing of understanding, empathy, caring, and love.
When you make loving others the story of your life, there's never a final chapter, because the legacy continues. You lend your light to one person, and he or she shines it on another and another and another.
What Oprah Knows for Sure
From the February 2004 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
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