What is friendship to you? What are your standards and requirements, and what is your value system for friendship? What do you feel you owe a friend, and what do you feel a friend owes you? Dr. Robin says these questions are important to ask yourself if you want to surround yourself with true friends.
Dr. Robin says a true friend is someone who loves and supports you, who tells you the truth and is also willing to listen to the truth. A true friend is someone who brings out the best in you, she says.
On the other hand, Dr. Robin says it's equally important to define for yourself what true friendship is not. It is not about domination or manipulation, dishonesty or deceitfulness, she says.
"Assess who's in your life," Dr. Robin says. "Decide who really is a friend and the ones who need to leave. The friendships that actually have been over for a long time—they're not friendships. People who are abusive, who are disrespectful, who are demeaning, who talk about you, do things that harm your sense of well-being and integrity in the world—that is not a friend."
Printed from Oprah.com on Monday, December 9, 2013