- To be a man is to live with a lot of pain. "From virtually the moment you're born, you're judged not for your being, but your doing," Rabbi Shmuley says.
- Men are looking to be rescued from their pain. "They believe a woman's tenderness can make them feel better about themselves and often fall head over heals in love almost instantly," he says. "But, when the pain still remains, they lose interest just as quickly."
- Men are punished for showing emotion. "Hence, they learn to keep it all bottled up, but are bursting with a desire to release emotion," Rabbi Shmuley says.
- Their parents, especially dads, teach them to be tough. Rabbi Shmuley says this is why many men are successful in their professions, but they are also aloof, distant and unattached.
- A man's greatest fear is failure. "If he fails, that proves his gnawing self-doubt that he is utterly ordinary was correct from the beginning," he says.
There are five things women can do to reach men and teach them important life lessons, Rabbi Shmuley says.
1. Emphasize intimacy over womanizing.
2. Promote love for children over a love of money.
3. Encourage discussing problems rather than bottling them up.
4. Make relationships more valuable than objects.
5. Stop comparing yourself to your friends and be comfortable with yourself.
"Men always say that women are impossible to fathom, but men are at times even more mysterious to women because of their reluctance to talk and share their feelings. As a woman, therefore, make an effort to understand your man by gently having him open up and revealing his deepest essence to you, his loving soul mate."