Crystal's biggest regret about her affair is that it was a waste of her time. "All the time I was spending with him I could have made myself available to a man who could commit to me fully," she says. "I feel that my relationship was wrong and that there was no good that could come from it."
Oprah: I don't think I've ever said this on TV before, but your story really mirrors my own. In my 20s, I was involved with a married man, and it is one of my greatest regrets. I later found out that the married man also had another "other woman." It is such a powerless position to be in. I don't have a whole lot of regrets in my life, but I regret it because of how pathetic it made me as a woman. I regret it not only because I was pathetic, but because of what I did to his wife. I didn't think about his wife, I believed what he was telling me, I believed the lies that he was telling me about her. I look back at that time in my life and feel not that he was responsible in any way, because I always had the choice.
Crystal: I had painted a picture of what his wife looked like based on everything he told me. I actually had a chance to meet her once, and she was beautiful and poised and she was just the opposite of the picture he painted. I guess that was my Aha! moment.
Oprah: Of course, because no husband is going to say, "My wife is really beautiful, and she's really good to me, and things are really going well at home, and everything's lovely. I'm just using you." Which is the truth.