"When are you moving?"
Remember the documentary Babies? Remember the Mongolian baby, who hangs out with livestock in a one-room hut in the middle of endless fields? When Cousin Helen looks around your one-bedroom apartment/starter-home bungalow and asks, innocently, when you're planning to move, show her this clip of the yurt the Mongolian family lives in. She'll get it. Or maybe she'll give you a rooster for a baby shower present. Either way, it's a win.