"You're not taking Dinkleschmidt for a last name, are you?"
This decision may be the biggest headache of getting married—especially considering the hours that taking a new name requires in Social Security, county clerk's office and DMV lines—but the thing is, it's not a debate at all. It's the bride's decision. There's a buffet of valid options: Keep her maiden name, take his, have him take hers or create a hybrid. Although I always thought Braunison had a nice ring to it, I kept mine and added his—"I'm embracing my full identity," I figured. Whatever the decision, the best thing we can all do is respond to her new name as you did to all her wedding choices: smile and know that you're not the one who has to live with it. Even if she's now Julia Gulia, à la The Wedding Singer.