"I can't believe you made me sit next to her."
What's worse than bringing up wedding-day misadventures is bringing up issues we didn't even know were issues. Or wild cards we just can't control, like the questionably appropriate thing an uncle says or the busboy who spills champagne on your Dyeables heels. Even the seating chart—despite couples treating it as if they're playing a game of Battleship, Ego Edition, can result in a few duds. We're sorry, and we understand if this means we're sitting between the bathroom and a screaming baby at your wedding.