To sustain a loving connection, Dr. Robin says couples should invest in their "marital ATM account." Just like a cash ATM, a couple's relationship needs regular deposits if they hope to get anything out of it.
Instead of working at their relationship, people in troubled marriages may be tempted to wish for a better partner who would meet their needs—a fantasy that's far from reality, Dr. Robin says. "Until [you] become the right person, then [you] cannot draw out in someone else what [you] want to have happen. It's about you healing yourself."