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Marcus and Tamica have been married for four years. After the passion in their relationship started to fizzle, the couple turned to Dr. Berman for sex therapy.

One of Marcus and Tamica's biggest problems is that their sex drives don't match. "Tamica said to me once, which I never got, she said that my sex drive is frustrating to her," Marcus says. "My sex drive is no higher than it was when we first met and it was perfectly fine for you then, and hers changed and mine didn't."

Tamica says she holds sex back to keep Marcus from wanting more. "He's all over me after [sex]. Like I can't get a breath in like the next day," she says. "So I'm just, like, 'God, well if I give it to him today, he's going to want it tomorrow, he's going to want it Wednesday, he's going to want it Thursday.' So I back off to give it to him in rations so that he's not attacking me."

For Marcus, lack of sex is a deal-breaker in marriage, but Tamica worries more about being financially secure. Growing up, Tamica says she struggled financially and was sometimes even hungry. Although Marcus and Tamica are comfortable financially, Tamica admits that she always wants more. "I felt like he could make more money. He could buy me a bigger house," she says. "I just wanted him to take care of everything. I didn't want any stressors at all."

Marcus says no dollar amount could bring them closer. "Even if we had all the money that you want us to have ... it will be something else," he says. "If you're not realistic, then we're not going to enjoy this marriage like we should."
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FROM: Sex Therapy 2: Fears, Fantasies, Faking It
Published on November 21, 2008

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