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Since their sessions with Dr. Berman, Kerrie and Shawn say things have improved in the bedroom. "Things are better. We're happier."

Dr. Berman says she's seen their communication improve as well. "They're big intellectualizers. When they start to have problems, they'll start going in their heads and getting very philosophical about everything, and they don't really talk to each other about their feelings," Dr. Berman says. "And they've gotten so much better at that, which I think has really helped the overall relationship, which leads to better sex lives."

There's only one obstacle the couple needs to overcome, Dr. Berman says. "She still has a story in her head that 'He doesn't like it, and so I'm uncomfortable with it,'" Dr. Berman says.

For any woman in a situation like Kerrie's, Dr. Berman has a simple suggestion—start loving your body. The better you feel about your genitals, Dr. Berman says, the more your sex life will improve. "What we have found in the research is that women who have positive genital self-image, who feel good about their genitals and comfortable with their genitals, are six times more likely to have sexual satisfaction than women who are not," Dr. Berman says. "If you don't love your vulva, who will?"
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FROM: Sex Therapy 2: Fears, Fantasies, Faking It
Published on November 21, 2008

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