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Skypers from San Diego and New York City all have one thing on their minds—timing. Katie from San Diego wants to know when do you make time for having sex, while Kerrie in New York wants to know how to do it in a "New York minute"—and still enjoy it.

The biggest mistake Dr. Berman says she sees couples make is expecting sex to happen spontaneously. "It's totally different from when you were in that initial infatuation stage where you couldn't get enough of each other," she says. "You're now in a totally different stage of your relationship, and if you don't make time for it and make a shift in your mind and start to enjoy that, then it's just not going to happen."

Dr. Berman says to make an appointment with one another—it's more fun than it sounds. "What happens is you find that you shave your legs that day. He sends you some nice e-mails. You have some back and forth," she says. "And it's kind of like this anticipation of this time you know you're going to have together."
FROM: Sex Therapy 2: Fears, Fantasies, Faking It
Published on November 21, 2008