What's the best time to raise delicate sexual issues with a new partner?
If it's something like "I have herpes," you tell the person even before you become intimate. When you're alone together, and in a nonsexual moment—though preferably not when you're driving—you say something like "I enjoy being with you, and I have the feeling that this has the makings of a relationship. But before we go any further, there's something I need to tell you, although I'm scared it might affect the way you feel about me." But let's face it, a lot of partners hear herpes and they're out the door. If what you want to talk about is that you most enjoy sex swinging from the chandelier, wait until you've made love a few times. Then you don't say, "I want this because it always works for me." You say, "I have a fantasy that might be fun. Why don't we try it?" — Sue Johanson, RN
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