Dr. Laura Berman and Oprah

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Step 1: Tell the Truth
Faking it—most women have probably done it at least once. But Dr. Berman says that if you want a more satisfying sex life, you have to start telling your own sexual truths now. "It's an epidemic. Over 70 percent of women have faked orgasm if not on a regular basis, once in a while," she says.

Dr. Berman even has a term for it—the "mercy fake." "He's trying so hard," she says. "And she just knows that it's not going to end and she knows she's not going to get there."

Watch Dr. Berman explain why you need to stop "mercy faking." Watch

Still, women don't fake orgasms because they want to be deceptive, Dr. Berman says. They do it because they feel a sense of inferiority. "She's trying to give him what he wants, and she feels badly that she can't and so she fakes it," Dr. Berman says.

If you've been faking it awhile, Dr. Berman says it's a hard subject to come clean about. It can also affect your relationship beyond the bedroom. "Every withhold that you keep from your partner is like a brick in a big brick wall between you and he," she says. "Once it comes out, the guy feels totally duped and he thinks, 'Oh my gosh, if she can be this good of an actress, what else is she lying about?'"
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FROM: Best Life Week: Relationships, Intimacy and Sex
Published on January 09, 2009

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