The Button to the Right of "On"
I know no joy like the joy of crossing something off my gargantuan list, because once I strike an item through, it leaves my brain entirely, like a web browser cleared of its cookies. Well, I just escaped a very trying period during which every night, my husband, who stays up later than I do, would say, "Don't worry, I will start the dishwasher," sparing us both the swishy noise it makes. I would cross it off my list, erase it from my mind browser and go to bed with a clear head—only to wake up to a dishwasher full of dirty dishes marinating in milk and spaghetti sauce. Why did he insist on torturing me in this way? After all, starting the dishwasher was no problem: I could easily push that button and cross it off my list on good authority. Why did he want to destroy my sense of well-being in this obviously malicious way? Then we realized the machine had a timer. Yes, some genius at Cut-Rate-Canadian-Tiny-Size-Dishwasher Company had thought to include a marriage-saver button. Now I set the timer to start in the middle of the night, when the gentle whirring will double as a nice white-noise machine, and I can cross the chore off my list. And my children won't have to split Christmas between two households.