Dr. Berman has a homework assignment to help couples get in the mood. "Start giving your partner a 10-second kiss at least once a day," Dr. Berman says. "You'll be surprised to see what a difference it makes and how long it feels compared to what you normally do."
Dr. Berman says the emphasis should be on kissing for the sake of kissing. "The only time that women get kissed in a long-term relationship is when it's a prelude to sex. So you want to make it not about sex but just about kissing," she says. "When he's not putting the pressure on and he's just about sensuality and loving her and connecting with her and kissing her, then she often will get turned on as a result."