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Tom and Debra are two of the 40 million Americans in sexless marriages. They've been married for 19 years and have two teenage kids, but they say their sex and intimacy has been reduced to nothing. "We kiss, we hug," Tom says. "But as far as just laying in bed and being close to each other and maybe caressing, Debbie is hesitant to do that because I'm very easily aroused and she thinks that will be the green light."
Debra says she didn't even realize that she and Tom haven't had sex for years. Between raising kids and working, she says sex feels like work. "It was just one more thing on my to-do list," she says. Sometimes, she says, she even intentionally falls asleep before Tom gets into bed so that she can avoid having to say no to sex. "I'm kind of at the point where I could live the rest of my life and not have it again."