Raising children with love and affection is very important, but Rabbi Shmuley says raising them with guidelines is equally as important. Parents need to enforce certain rules for their children and themselves in order to be the best parents they can be. Rabbi Shmuley offers solutions to four issues every parent encounters:
- Boredom: If your children are bored and listless, don't take them shopping or on a trip, Rabbi Shmuley says. Instead, he says you should take them outside into nature and teach them to find beauty in everyday life. "Real stimulation comes from within; it's when you learn to find novelty in life itself," he says. "Show [your children] that the ordinary really is extraordinary, that the everyday is unique."
- Goodness: Rabbi Shmuley says you should let your children know that good intentions are not the same as good actions. "In life, no one cares what you mean—they only care what you do," he says. "People will judge you and you will always even judge yourself by one thing and one thing only—your actions."
- Structure: Kids need structure and routine, Rabbi Shmuley says. From proper bedtimes to the responsibly of keeping children's rooms clean and tidy, parents need to enforce structure. "Go into your kid's rooms tonight, and if you see that there is stuff lying around," he says. "Honestly, if you have warned them several times and they haven't listened, pick the stuff up and put it straight in the garbage. They will never leave things lying around [after that]."
- Value: Don't miss your children's concerts, soccer games and other events that are important to them, Rabbi Shumley says. "When you put your children first, you make them important, you make them feel important, you give them value," he says.
"Those who love children love innocence, they love vulnerability, they love creativity and they love life."