Since the beating that left her close to death, Mindy has attempted to take her own life twice. The first suicide attempt occurred after she spent time with Billy over the Fourth of July holiday weekend. Mindy says she was disappointed by his lack of remorse and swallowed pills and a bottle of wine. "It wasn't my intention to kill myself in the beginning of it," she explains. "However, when I started feeling the effects of the medication, I wrote a suicide note which I don't even remember writing."
Oprah reads from the note: "To everyone I love, I'm sorry. I know how selfish this seems, but I can't take any more pain. Billy is precious to me. Billy is the person in this world I've loved the most, and he's convinced me how truly horrible I am. I gave all of myself in every way to him, but he says I've done nothing but destroy his life and family. I never wanted anyone to know what happened when he hit me. I sincerely tried to fix it, but I failed."
"I actually felt really bad for him and really bad for his family," Mindy explains. "He kept saying, 'I wanted to have a career in music and now I'm not ever going to.' I kept saying, 'Well, if you were truly sorry for what you'd done, everybody makes mistakes. People are for the most part forgiving. They would probably forgive you.' But he wasn't sorry and you can't pretend to be that way."