Satisfying sex is a necessary part of a good marriage, say psychologist Dr. Gail Saltz and Playboy
magazine senior editor Chip Rowe. "It's a biological, evolutionary need," Dr. Saltz says. "In order to have that really intimate connection, that incredible trust and really have your needs met, [sex] is something that needs to happen in your relationship."
Dr. Saltz and Chip share with Dr. Oz tips for couples who feel like their sex lives are suffering:
- Don't assume you know what your partner wants sexually. Even if you have been together for decades, Chip says you need to ask your partner questions to determine his or her likes and dislikes during sex. Dr. Saltz agrees and says that hormones and age can change the way your partner feels about certain sexual positions.
- Use "non-bedroom" moments to discuss sexual problems or requests. Dr. Saltz says that critiquing your partner or addressing sexual issues in bed can cause feelings of rejection. She says you should bring these topics up while you're watching TV or sitting at the kitchen table—places where there is no pressure to perform.
- Buy pornography or erotica. Dr. Saltz says she actually prescribes pornography to some of her patients. "It's a tool that can be used in your toolbox of what you are going to do to stimulate your appetite," she says.
- Talk or act out your sexual fantasies. "You can—without the porn being involved—come up with a fantasy," Chip says. "That is a real simple way to spice [your sex life] up."