Dr. Schwartz says she started having the best sex of her life after she turned 55 and got divorced. "Actually, we had a good sex life so I don't want to make anybody think we didn't. We did," she says. "But I had to reenter. I had to kind of get over the doldrums."
Dr. Schwartz says when you get older, couples can enjoy much more than just intercourse. "Foreplay can be the main event," she says. "There's no reason that [intercourse] gives you any better orgasm than other things do."
In fact, Dr. Schwartz says, not having intercourse can ease a man's performance anxiety. "When you meet men in their 50s and 60s and 70s, their ability to have an erection in all the ways it's described in romance novels and the way 20-year-olds experience it is not so good," she says. "Just take that off the table. We're going to make each other feel good. We're going to have fun here and it doesn't have to be about some kind of measurement about erections lasting forever."
The best thing about sex after 55, Dr. Schwartz says, is the confidence you have in yourself. "I was so much more comfortable about myself. I didn't take rejection so personally," she says.
It all comes down to her pineapple theory. "Some people don't like pineapple. Some people don't like me," she says. "Some people do like me. I'm okay—it's just taste."