"I met someone at 19, and we didn't even have a relationship. He basically came over to my house a couple times, and we hooked up. Then, I just stayed very obsessed for 12 years," she says. "The new one is now three years. I can't let go. He is my everything. If he would turn around and love me, I would be happy."
"Or is the truth if he turned around and loved you the way you say you want to be loved, you wouldn't know what to do with it?" Oprah asks.
"I haven't had that happen," she says. "I can't stop because I've never had that guy turn around and say, 'I love you.' I'd probably run. I have no idea." Amber says her obsessions aren't fatal attractions, but when she doesn't see these men, she becomes severely depressed.
It's been six months since Amber left rehab, and though she has the tools to end the cycle, she says it's very hard to stop.
Dr. Drew says women like Amber deserve better. "All women are worth more than that," he says. "[Relationships are] supposed to be about mutuality and closeness, and with addicts and trauma survivors, they can't tolerate closeness. Humans need intimacy. We've destroyed it in our country."