Make your first question a general one, rather than one related specifically to dating violence—otherwise, you might put your teen on the spot.
Says Rosalind Wiseman: "Keep an eye on the goal of the conversation. For example, you might hear, 'Why do you care all of a sudden?' Remember, underneath the provocative tone, your child is telling you something. Beyond the problems he or she may be having with friends, your child wants you around more. Before you go any further, it is critical to acknowledge these feelings. Ask your teen: 'Why would you say something like that? I really want to know.' Then listen."
On to question two