You've seen books on wedding etiquette and etiquette in the workplace…but can you believe there is a book on etiquette for extramarital affairs? Judith Brandt, author of The 50-Mile Rule: Your Guide to Infidelity and Extramarital Etiquette, talks about how people can make educated decisions about committing adultery. Gayle really wants to ask Judith—why do people need to read this book?
"When you are in a situation where you are perhaps thinking of walking away from your marriage or straying from your marriage, people are kind of overwhelmed by certain types of emotions and feelings and they're really not thinking clearly," Judith says. "This book is really designed to help them make smarter decisions and to make choices that really make sense for them, both in the short and long term."
Judith was married for 10 years and says after she and her husband divorced, she became the other woman in another relationship. She still sees that man a few times a year and says she does not worry about hurting his wife. "It has no impact on his relationship or other things that I'm doing," she says. "It's a supplement, not a substitute."
Gayle disagrees and wants to know: How does Judith justify her actions?
"There is no way that adultery is right," Judith says. "You stood up, you made a promise, you're supposed to keep that promise. But I think you come to a point in your life where you say, 'Look, here is an option that is presenting itself that could be extremely meaningful for both of us. Why should I not take advantage of that opportunity if I can do so in a way that is not destructive to him or to myself?'"
Judith denies that her book is encouraging people to commit adultery and be unfaithful. "The reality is people are going to do what they're going to do," she says. "My feeling is: Be smart about it, make smarter decisions and don't necessarily jeopardize the long-term relationship that could be the key to you emotional and economic future."
Printed from Oprah.com on Monday, December 9, 2013