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How to Handle Being Excluded by Friends

Oprah.com   |   From the March 2009 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
Jancee Dunn Polls the Experts


Q: I introduced two friends to each other, and they hit it off so well that they went on a trip to London together without even mentioning it to me. It felt strange to be left out. Am I overreacting?

A: "You sure are! You gave them each the gift of a new friendship, and you should be thrilled that it resulted in your friends' happiness and companionship." — Jack Marshall, president, ProEthics

"Your feeling is perfectly understandable—being left out hurts. But Jack is right: New friends are entitled to enjoy themselves without you. This isn't elementary school; people don't have to invite the whole class to their birthday party." — Anita L. Allen, professor of law and philosophy, the University of Pennsylvania Law School

"The trip was obviously orchestrated, not a casual excursion. You should first figure out what's at the root of your feelings—betrayal, jealousy? And then ask your friends—together—why they felt the need to leave you out of the fun." — Rudy Rasmus, pastor, St. John's United Methodist Church in Houston
Printed from Oprah.com on Wednesday, May 22, 2013
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