Bottom line: There's no single template for friendship. Some people are in our lives because they carry a precious shard of our history, while others reflect our passions and priorities right now. Still others are in danger of becoming ex-friends because we're either too preoccupied to pick up the phone or too scared to speak our minds. As Virginia Woolf said, "I have lost friends, some by death—others through sheer inability to cross the street." Which brings me back to Sarah: I'm not sure where this friendship is headed, but I realize I still care enough to cross the street and let her know why I've been so out of touch. As for Natalie, I hope that one day she'll do the same.
Barbara Graham, a regular contributor to O, is the author of Eye of My Heart.
More on Friendship
- More ways to say goodbye (and good riddance!)
- The friendship quiz: Good friend, bad friend?
- What to do when you're feeling left out
From the August 2001 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.