For these many reasons—and more—The Law of Attraction begins with The Law of Subtraction! Meaning? If you want to find healthful love, you must first let go of the pain of your past. Voilà.
1. Tell yourself: "I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can control what goes on inside. I forgive my ex, and am determined to gain insights on how to wisely avoid love situations like this one in my future." Become determined to make this the breakup that led to your breakthrough. Or as I like to say: "Sometimes you have to reach 'f*** this' to get to 'post-f*** this,'" the highly energized time when you are determined to break patterns of pain.
2. Rewrite your ex's name in your cell phone as "Teacher." Trust me. You will feel better immediately.
3. Write a thank you letter to your ex for all you've learned. Don't send it. Keep it nearby to read every time you find yourself slipping back into your angry thoughts.
4. Tell yourself: "We are all good, loving souls who occasionally get lost."
5. Remind yourself of a time you were forgiven. Be altruistic. Forgive back to your ex.
6. Remind yourself that when you resent someone you give them control of your emotions. You don't want to give your ex that power.
7. Remind yourself when you respond with hate to hate, anger to anger, bitterness to bitterness, you ironically become part of the problem.
8. If you're feeling stressed in general about your ex, supplement your SAM-e levels—which is a naturally occurring molecule produced in the body that becomes depleted due to stress, age and diet.
9. Remind yourself that when you train your brain to think more loving thoughts, your positive energy attracts more positive people and results. Plus, being peaceful makes you far sexier—so you're more of a love magnet instead of a negativity magnet.
10. Remember: Love success is the best revenge!
Adapted by Karen Salmansohn from her book, Prince Harming Syndrome, QNY, an imprint of Hammond World Atlas Corporation. She is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help.
How have you gotten over a painful past? We want to hear from you! Share your comments below.