Gary says it's never too late to start the healing process, but you don't have to wait for your children to make the first move. "Today is not only about children coming to their parents, but how all the parents out there who can start the conversation by going to their children, giving them permission to tell them how they feel."

Mending years of hurt can start with something as simple as a phone call or letter. If you're having trouble reaching out, ask a trusted family member or friend to help mediate or facilitate. "Get together with them and tell them, 'I really want to hear what it was like to be you. I can take it. I love you. And I care enough about you and us that I want to move forward,'" Gary says. "Give the children permission to tell you how they really feel."

Take this assessment to see how your children are really coping with your divorce.