Divorce expert M. Gary Neuman has appeared on the show to discuss the right ways to tell your children that you're getting a divorce
. But what if you're already divorced? Gary's back to answer two important questions—"Can you repair the mistakes you've already made with your children?" and "If so, how?"
Gary says parents can always fix the errors of the past. "Children crave the love and attention from parents. So no matter what you've done, you might have to have remorse and apologize, you might have to keep trying, but children do open up. I don't care if it's years later, they always have a place in their heart for their parents, and parents can always reenter their lives," he says. "But when they do that, [parents] have to be genuine about it and stick with it and be consistent."
One important thing to keep in mind, Gary says, is when you say negative things about the other parent, you are actually saying something negative about your child. "You criticize their DNA—they are a part of both Mom and Dad," Gary says. "You can't say, 'Mom is rotten,' or 'Dad is bad,' and not have that reflect on me, the kid. That means I'm partially that."
Instead of blaming the other parent, parents should focus on the future. "You have to take responsibility for yourself and what we can do moving forward, no matter what," he says.