Be it Yom Kippur, Easter or Flag Day, most of us are prepared for disputes over which family (his or mine?) we're going to spend the holidays with. The less recognized issue is the rest of the year—all those ordinary Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and other days of the year that one spouse plans on spending with his extended kin while the other spouse plans on spending in front of the TV or on the patio with her new barbeque.
Part of the reason why battles of those "everyday" days get heated is that often "we're forgetting that other additional family...our own," says O'Neill. In other words, while we deal with how much time we're going to spend with parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, we may overlook carving out some of those Sundays or holidays for our own nuclear family.