Girlfriend, Are You Ready for Some Football?

With my tongue planted firmly in my cheek, I give you:

My Top 10 All-Time Annoying Things Women Should Never Say to Men During a Game

1. Honey, I still look good enough to wear that Dallas Cowgirl outfit, don't I?

2. I'm sorry, but this was the only time the decorator could come. And besides, it's only a few dozen fabric swatches.

3. You already watched three quarters. Why can't we spend the last one just talking about us?

4. Good News! My folks are on the way over and they've got their cruise videos!

5. You are gonna love this game I Tivo'd for you! The Giants won!

6. Why can't you get our lawn to look like that?

7. Those Doritos and Coronas gave you heartburn, so I threw them out. Try these delicious rice cakes and "near beer" instead!

8. O-o-oh, those shoulder pads are sooo '80s!

9. Honey, I just peed on a stick and I am glad you are sitting down.

10. Overtime, schmovertime! Can we change the channel? NBC has ice-skating!