Funsuckers, on the other hand, are not only the "glass half-empty" crowd. They are folks whose lives depend on bringing us all down with them. If funsuckers would only suffer in silence when the plane is delayed or the steak is overcooked, then the rest of us in the "glass half-full " camp could go on with our lives. But funsuckers feel it is their duty to share the hair in their salad with the rest of table, causing us all to lose our appetites. Funsuckers take themselves—and their issue of the moment—very seriously.
Funseeking is a choice, and not the easy-breezy, superficial choice you might think. It takes creativity and imagination to see the potential for humor in a First Date After Divorce Disaster. There's nothing inherently fun about a houseful of sick kids or a volunteer commitment that has taken over your life, but funseekers endeavor to find the lightness amidst the dark. And when they do, they lighten up the entire situation for everyone else. Nobody is more welcome walking through the door than a funseeker.
So if you are off to a family get-together, girls' night out, high school reunion or just a tedious neighborhood watch meeting, aim to be a funseeker.
Here are some rules to keep in mind when deciding between funseekers vs. funsuckers:
Funsuckers never have an opinion until it's too late.
Funseekers take charge or take direction.
Funsuckers edit your emails and send them back.
Funseekers congratulate on a great idea.
Funsuckers eschew a "popcorn thriller."
Funseekers order the large tub.
Funsuckers complain about doing the cleanup after the fundraiser.
Funseekers spring for pizza for the crew.
Funsuckers drag you through the preparatory stages.
Funseekers arrive ready.
Funsuckers think the concept of "adults only" is for other people's children.
Funseekers think the concept of "adults only" is a great excuse for a babysitter.
Funsuckers fight in public.
Funseekers save it for the ride home.
Funsuckers start with an excuse.
Funseekers start with a grande latte.
Funsuckers itemize the dinner check.
Funseekers throw in an extra twenty.
Funsuckers worry about the parking.
Funseekers offer to drive.
Funsuckers think the event is about them.
Funseekers know the event is about the event.
Funsuckers give you the gruesome details of their GI series.
Funseekers recognize the comedic value of the words "barium enema."
Funsuckers won't dance.
Funseekers are the first on the floor.
Funsuckers arrive late.
Funseekers stay late.
Funsuckers count calories.
Funseekers count cannolis.
So which are you? A funseeker or a funsucker? Be a funseeker and watch the welcome mat roll out for you.
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Lian Dolan is a mother, wife, sister, friend, daughter, writer and talk show host. She writes and talks about her adventures in modern motherhood for her website, ChaosChronicles.com, and her weekly podcast, The Chaos Chronicles.